December 11, 2024

A former teammate noted Ronaldo rarely socialized with the team, to the point he’s "the only player whose penis I never saw." He specified, “Wudda been nice, just for some images during those last pumps with the wife! No homo.” (real story)

Martha Stewart infringed Sistine Chapel rules by taking pictures of the landmark. She explained she wasn’t told anything when it first opened 551 years ago. (real story)

In Canada, a man fought a polar bear that lunged at his wife. The man had just found the two in bed. (real story)

A new study has discovered the human heart has its own ‘brain’ that controls heartbeats. In a press conference, men accepted the challenge to “use the wrong head” there, too. (real story)

In Virginia, a gun was found in a preschooler’s backpack. Worse, the preschooler’s 37. (real story)