February 24, 2025

Urban barbershops and hair salons are still buzzing about this year’s broadcast celebrating Black excellence: of course, President Trump’s Black History Month reception.

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Focus groups felt tepid about the event’s original name:

“Useful Footage For When I Need It With The Blacks.” (USA Today)

Networks are said to be cozying up to YouTube as TV’s become the most popular way to watch the platform. “With so many choices of media, consumers are the real winners now and can watch stars anywhere. Please?” said unemployed Kevin Spacey. (Business Insider)

Kid Rock and his fiancée of 7 years have officially split with sources revealing he’s now back in the dating pool. “Challenge accepted,” said the pool-cleaning industry. (The Independent)

A new way to fight nicotine withdrawal may be through the use of a Parkinson’s disease drug, which alleviates tremors and decreased mobility. Now the question’s how to get Parkinson’s. (New York Post)

A judge ruled that Birkenstock sandals are not works of art and cannot be copyrighted this way. Following the logic of a judge teaching what art is to a corporation, Elon Musk taught air how to be hinged. (NBC)

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