January 23, 2025

Lyrics Bob Dylan drafted some 60 years ago were recently sold for $500k after he originally threw them in the trash. Dylan could have made much more, according to sources who would have paid him to leave them there. (real story)

A 20-year old who’s won a $10M jackpot says he plans on continuing to work. Thinking of the boy’s future conversations with his colleagues about raises, a woman modelling barbwire thongs called the matter “uncomfortable.” (real story)

Worldwide champagne sales are sinking. An analyst estimated improvement for the celebratory drink boils down to the basics: “food and shelter, decent job, the will to live, etc.” (real story)

In Quebec, Amazon is closing all its warehouses but a representative assured it wasn’t an illegal decision due to a warehouse recently unionizing. The representative swore on his life: “We closed, because, um, *sigh* , the, *eye roll*, fuck my life, so, uh, yeah, there ya go.” (real story)

In 2027, the FDA will ban Red No. 3, a cancer-causing dye that’s found in candy, cereals, and Tylenol. So mark your calendars for when they take away cancer! (real story)