March 20, 2025

A death row inmate choked to death for over 19 minutes after being administered pure nitrogen gas. “Yeah, we messed up, but it was all that convulsing that prevented us from also spitting in his mother’s hole!” said Lady “Justice.” (The Mirror)

Harvard announced it will become tuition-free for families making $200,000 or less. Exams: 63 fuckpiles harder, however. (CNN)

Wheel of Fortune’s Vanna White said she only works 34 times a year, meaning she’s off 331 days. That’s 331 relationships a year in Ben Affleck sperm terms. (New York Post)

In a taped conversation during a jailhouse call with Kanye West, Diddy’s heard thanking him for taking care of his children while he’s locked-up. At the news of Diddy picking Kanye to raise his children, children rights’ activists slept better that night knowing the world’s not totally random. (New York Post)

It’s been revealed an ancient Egyptian mummy from first century-B.C was not pregnant or suffering from cancer as previously thought. The discovery came with a note: