March 26, 2025

A Fiji water employee has pled guilty after bribing a state trooper with bottles of the product. The man was accused on six counts of overestimating how prestigious his job is. (Mass Live)

Images of returning astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore show how nine months in space have drastically impacted their body. Straight-A students are reconsidering their career choice. Enjoying its highest enrolment yet’s Crack House Economics 403. (The Mirror)

A viral TikToker says a supplement that helps mothers’ milk production can prevent hangovers. Also sobering: slurping sweet Mexican titty pillows and discovering they’re Gabriel Iglesias’s…

(New York Post)

An elementary teacher’s accused of peeing in a can in front of students. The teacher’s now setting the record straight: “While I did need to pee, and did unzip my pants slightly before exposing myself to children, wait, what’s the question?” (WIBW)

Denzel Washington was offended being described by a reporter as a Hollywood rather than a theater actor. Despite disavowing his relationship with Tinseltown, he still respects it: the money’s always on the bathroom counter and he never kisses it on the mouth. (CBS Sunday Morning)